I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize