I should be sponsored by Trojan
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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