Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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