sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
