What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
