he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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