She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
