Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
