This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
