I understand Curling. That high.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
