dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
