You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
