Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
