I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
