i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
