Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
