were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This is classic penis vs brain.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
