David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
