remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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