Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
this will be a night to untag.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
