So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
third nipple confirmed
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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