guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
