I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
