Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
