I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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