you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
