420 ftw
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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