i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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