WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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