i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
