she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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