ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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