Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
