Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
