I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
