Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
