This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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