What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
