dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
