tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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