Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
