Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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