It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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