You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
