i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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