Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
