rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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