i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
