If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
