oh god the rape fog is back!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize