just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
