lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
