Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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