Don't make out with my wife yet
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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