She announced her abortion via fbk
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize