just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
