I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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