Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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