no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
