i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i out mim tonsoeep
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
