hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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