Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
third nipple confirmed
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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