I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
