brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
