Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
