in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Alive.
So much puke
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
