He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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