I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
