okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize