dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
