She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
