You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
