ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
