yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
